April 6, 2008–Violet Johnson’s Testimony (connected to Pastor Craig’s Sermon on Grace in the sermon archives)
Jaci April 14th, 2008
God’s Unconditional Love and Grace is for Everyone!
Testimony from Violet Johnson
April 6, 2008
Greetings precious brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus! Hello, my name is Violet Johnson. I was incarcerated at MCF/Shakopee for 19 years and 4 months. I was release on August 16, 2007 to a halfway house in
Forgiveness
“He redeemed us in order that the blessings given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit” Galatians 3:14.
I am honored and humbled as I express to you how I know that our God is in charge of life, protects us daily, gives us all freely his unconditional love and grace, because of Christ dying for us all at
Past Life
James 1:2 teaches us all, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything.”
My past life sucked. I was a mess, unhealthy, in deep denial, a drunk with many emotional issues. My thinking was a destructive cycle, stick in my abuse and shame of the past. I was not nurtured, held, hugged, or given any affection. I was taught no self-esteem. As a baby, child, teenager and wife, I only knew abuse. I am a survivor of emotional, mental, physical, sexual and verbal abuse. The abuse was done by a person who was supposed to love and protect me. I do not share this with you to seek pity or sympathy. My hope and prayer is that you will take time to really understand me as your sister and friend. I grew up in a home that was violent instead of loving. There was always the threat of violence and it could happen at any time. The atmosphere was always chaotic. I grew up thinking that the act of violence was acceptable and I married into a similar situation. Violence was my world and it was all I knew. My testimony today is that I am very grateful that our Heavenly Father has protected me, his child, through the abusive past. Because I know that God’s grace and love is unconditional.
Almost 20 years ago I was involved in an incident in which my brother lost his life. At htat time I was very unhealthy and I made harmful decisions. I do take responsibility and am accountable for my actions, choices of doing and not doing concerning the crime committed. Today, I am not the same person I was on the night of my brother, Jr.’s, death. When I arrived at prison my heart was broken from being hurt by the ones who loved me. I was very disappointed , discouraged, deep in despair, frustrated, tired, ready to give up and struggling. I know how it feels to be rejected, made fun of, don’t count or matter to anyone, to walk into an empty room. Devastated, I had no one to turn to. I was living under a “cloud” nearly all my life called Shame. I became a shame-based person due to living thought the abuse. Shame is the driving force behind some of my actions. Shame is the belief that I am not okay within, that I am a mistake and I am worthless. No one could possibly love me, I cannot be fixed. I am defective. How lonely my shame made me feel!
God’s unconditional love and grace has freed me from the fear of living in abuse and violence. I have learned the difference between being abused and being safe. Until now, prison was the only safest place I have ever lived. During my stay, I took advantage of many groups, one-on-ones, spiritual counseling, and restorative justice projects. In order to be a healthy person, I had to find healing from the past. When I made the decision to forgive myself, I stopped blaming others for my bad actions and decisions. It is a must to forgive. I understand that change is not a one time or one-day decision. Daily, I do my best to react and respond in a caring and positive manner. My heart and life are always in the process of change.
Faith
I would pray, “God, I am scared. Help me. Please get me out of this!” During my stay at prison, I chose to work on my spiritual life. As I participated in many Bible studies I learned that God’s unconditional grace and love is a free gift. You cannot find it in a store, save up for it in a bank or work hard for it at your job. As my own spirit was cleansed and healed, God spoke to me quietly saying, “Trust me,” at that moment my faith bloomed. In the process of growing, learning and maturing in my walk with the Lord, I have a stronger faith now. My faith was weak when I first came to prison. My faith had not diminished; I just hadn’t been applying it. My faith in God is my foundation and is as solid as concrete. My faith in God has put me right here standing in front of you all today. I know that our Heavenly Father is taking care and protecting me from the Evil One and his harmful ways. Outside circumstances won’t change my trust in the Lord. I am not blown around in the wind. I do fail at times; however, I strive for maturity daily. I am always in the process of practicing my faith. Which is to fight the good fight, stand up for principle, show grace, be tender-hearted and forgiving. I find healing by serving and helping others any way I can.
Support System
1 Thessalonians 5:11 teaches us, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” I was broken and shattered because within me I felt I had let down God, my family and friends who had faith and confidence in me. After I realized that I needed help to heal from the past, I embraced my grief and struggles. In my tearful moments I knew that this stubborn, self-sufficient woman could not find enough strength to stand alone. That was part of the reason why I was in prison to being with, because I did not turn to others for help. Yes, from my misery I prayed for the fellowship of true believers for encouragement and support to help me become a strong mature woman, to be a true witness for Jesus! I thank God often for my support system; they have been very helpful and kind when I was in prison and still are daily. Again, I am continuing to learn to be humble. What great rile models of faith they were during my years at prison and now day by day. The Lord always has and still provides someone with advice or encouragement when I do not know which way to go. I do thank God for every friendship I have. My support system has encouraged and reassured me. From my heart, there are no words that I an ever express my true gratefulness I have because of their warm-hearted care and kindness they have shown me. I appreciate each one of them because of their special ways they have helped me to adjust and adapt from prison to freedom. They “took the time” to pray, write, cook, shop, and drive me to places. They are a true family in Christ Jesus. May our Lord continue to bless them and their loved ones. When I am sustained by God, my family and others, I will endure, work through and accept what lies ahead. I know there will be problems. I will pray for protection and strength. I know that there is hope and life can only improve. I am amazed when I simply let go and trust God to direct my life.
Miracles
I am living proof that miracles of the Bible do come alive today for those who have faith.I am thanking God for miracle after miracle. On August, 20, 2007, I walked down the sidewalk and got on the bus for the first time after 19 years. I thanked God that I was out of prison eight months early, able to look for a job. I wasn’t supposed to leave prison until this April. The Charis community and my support system knew that I was out and had been praying constantly for me. When I accepted Jesus into my heart as my personal Lord and Savior on July 18, 1974, I started my journey of learning about God’s unconditional grace and love. I do know that no one could have told me how my life will turn out day after day, moment after moment. However once again, God reminds me that He is truly in charge of everything and certainly not me. Nothing could be as wonderful as God’s intervention and guidance. I am very thankful to be able to have a second chance in society. I will praise and thank God every day for the miracle of Freedom.
Family
This is a testimony of faith and prayer. My oldest son Bill, at this time has decided not to have contact with me and that is ok because I understand his anger for many reasons. My youngest son Joseph came back into my life. Joe and I started to rebuild and reconnect our relationship. It takes time for him and I to adjust, adapt to each other and to learn who were are today not 19 years ago. We have special moments together. Our talks together are so meaningful and not idle chatter. I am very grateful that my son is reaching out to me, his mother. He tells me that he wants to keep what we have started: our son and mother relationship. Joe also has offered to drive me and be with me on my weekend passes. Our relationship keeps on growing all for the positive each time we are together. Joe’s time with me is not taken for granted. Joe continues to touch my heart.
Work for the Lord
Colossians 3:23 says, “Work hard and cheerfully at all you do, just as though you were working for the Lord.” I am very content at my job working for Jesus and Mr. Silker through Seg-Way Ministries. Mr. Greg Silker and his team decided to give me a chance on September 19, 2007. I am grateful for the privilege and opportunity to serve and fellowship with this church community. This job has been a blessing after blessing for me. I am accepted as I am. The trust level is wonderful. I can work at my own pace, they know about my arthritis. I am not under any time limit or deadline. I am not pressured to get a project done. I am respected and I am allowed to make decisions within reason. I have no one guarding or hovering over me. I am so willing to do whatever is asked of me to do for my boss and the Lord.
Giving Back
James 1:5 teaches us all, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” I am committed to activities related to restorative justice, which is on-going projects of many different ways of giving back to the community. Some examples are: reaching the homeless, juveniles, and anyone who may be struggling in life. I will always participate with the Charis Ministry of Minnesota. We all are vulnerable and deal with struggles in our lives. It is awesome to see lives touched by tears of pain, stories we can relate to, kindness and love from each other to share the Good News of Jesus Christ. Many times these struggles lead to difficulties and darkness, but the forgiveness we can receive though the loving grace of our Lord and Savior can make us clean as freshly fallen snow. I thank God for this opportunity to share His unconditional love, grace and mercy to you today. What a mighty God we serve! I will share my life story with those who want to hear it. I will also volunteer to cook, work with, or simply clean any place that helps all people. I vow to do this in memory of my brother Jr. so that his death will not be in vain. I will not let the memory of Jr. fade. I am devoted to mending the harm I have caused in the past in any way possible when given a chance.
Challenge
So therefore do your best to seek God first. Yes, we humans will fail you, however, God will never leave you or forsake you. Then P.U.S.H (Pray Until Something Happens). Pray for your family and others. Find yourself a positive support group that yo uar committed to and want to meet with on a regular basis. Witness for the Lord. Remember that you may be the only Bible others are reading by your behavior and what you speak. Outside these doors, the world is angry, does not care or accept you as you are. Take time in your life to build on a solid foundation of faith. So remember: Make a friend…Be a friend…Bring a friend to Christ!! May you know that you are a witness and remember that God’s unconditional grace and love for your life is a free gift! God loves you and so do I! My life is a testimony for the Lord!! Your sister and friend is Jesus’ name. Amen!
